how to activate your Shky Bocksh

Hello. If you’ve seen the TV version of this ad while your Sky Box boots up, you’ll know from my soft, non-threatening voice that I’m not one of those hard-hatted macho-man electro-technicians. I'm nice and explainy.

But if your Sky Box isn’t connected to a broadband connection, you’re missing out. When you’re linked up, you become part of Rupert Murdoch’s widest network of listening posts on the planet.
Don’t worry: You’ll still be part of one of the most expensive television services in the UK and Ireland, part of a group whose leaders often suggest that the BBC is biased by comparison to them when – without apology – they support the likes of Trump, Bush, Blair and Theresa May, and whose journalists have a vile history of bugging, hacking and harassing celebrities, the families of murder victims, and politicians with whom they disagree, because that’s part of the deal.
First up, you need an ADK-1373 connector box. If the router and your connector are in separate rooms, press and hold the WPS button on your connector box. Then, press the WPS button on your router. Locate your network using the onstream instructions. Or onscreen. It doesn’t matter. You know what I mean, and you can tell from my nice voice that I mean you no harm.
When you’re prompted, enter the password EVILoftheAncients, remembering that it’s case sensitive.
If you don’t see the Welcome Message on your screen, don’t worry.

Simply go to the setting sections of your Sky Plus box, scroll down, and select Apply for Communications Engineering Degree.

It’s easy to get connected. Very easy.

Any color as long as it's black

As Henry Ford said in the olden days: "Any color as long as it's black."

~I'm looking for the plain Dairy Milk? Just the plain one?
~It should be there...I dunno. If it's not there we don't have it.

Expired blueberries inspire us all

#Expired #blueberries #inspire us all. Isn't that how the expression goes?

Trying to find out online whether expired blueberries are very dangerous is difficult. 
People say:
"Well, I wouldn't!" or
"You can put them into a pancake!" or
"The sporofidiums boridiums in blueberry blight have been known to turn sheep's wool straight." or
"I would boil them into a wine first, and then strain it through a goldfish." or
"Just sayin'. Moses fell asleep atop Mount Sinai on a patch of gone-off blueberries, and he came back down the hill with his tablets. Just sayin'." or
"Cut the fungus away from the rest and any misty ones that are left, with the misty tint? send those ones off to the local government's Hazardous Waste unit in a hermetically-sealed envelope. You can eat the rest though."

None of it will stop me from my good healthy eatin'!

Right, I'll be back next week to let you know how my trip went!

Dead Men Naked by Dario Cannizzaro

Dario Cannizzaro’s narrator Louis, the protagonist of Dead Men Naked (available at Amazon), loses his best friend Neil in a bizarre, seemingly hallucinogenic near-remote attack from an attic window as they stand in the same room, by Lou’s neighbour and a giant crow. Given the tequila and other substances taken, it is difficult to determine what exactly occurred through the narrator’s eyes. But Louis comes round the following morning worse-for-wear; he finds his friend’s body, realises that what happened was no dream, and summons the authorities to the scene.

Strange beginnings complement a funeral where Neil’s parents end up consoling him as much as vice versa. On the trip, while Lou drowns his sorrows, he meets Mallory at a nearby, not-so-nearby dive, and begins an exploration of the spirit world. The journey is a theme in this novel, the roadside scenery described with a vivid and subtle poetry throughout. Also beautifully captured are aspects relationships – for instance, lifelong friendship.

The idea that you can fall out with or fall away from childhood friends for a number of years, and revert back to that same friendship that will always be there, serves to fortify Lou’s sense of loss.
Also captured in the dreams within the novel are wonderfully subtle elements that are typical of our delta wave activities. The idea that you want to look at something, for instance, but you’re prevented from doing so by other factors that would be trivial in real life, is one detail that stood out.
There are aspects that have echoes of movies such as the Guillermo del Toro-produced The Orphanage, or even the more mainstream The Sixth Sense. The reader can take things a number of ways. Knowing what’s real and what’s not in this novel is not an issue, perhaps because knowing isn’t all that important. One can assume that the author expects a little reader interpretation.

Let it wash over you. It’s the kind of work that stays with you, and you can digest it long after you have read the final page.
Get Dead Men Naked on Amazon. Follow Dario Cannizzaro on Twitter.

Tasty recipe

 630g creamed rice
3 small Kinder bars
6-8 "BBQ" marshmallows
Place in microwave for five minutes, pausing occasionally to stir.
If anyone would like an apology for this recipe, leave a comment below.

Social media rant

Spiderman Homecoming Review

In Batman Returns, there’s a slow-dance ballroom scene between Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) where they inadvertently reveal themselves to each other as Catwoman and Batman, when they repeat the same comment and response that they had uttered while battling each other on the rooftops of Gotham.

There is a similarly smart revelation in the original Spiderman movie, when the Green Goblin’s alter ego realises that Peter is Spidey.

In Spiderman Homecoming, Michael Keaton plays a villain with similarly bat-like wings as his Gotham City role. And although there is a similar revelation, it requires a little more, less likely, guesswork. There are, however, more impressive reveals in this movie, and winks at previous incarnations of the superhero in both the comics and movies. Meanwhile, the movie also deserves praise for taking Spiderman in new directions, with input from Stark Industries and its technologies.

Other Marvel movies play the humour more heavily. There are funny moments, but to say that it’s all belly-laughs as a pejorative is entirely unfair. There is a little less struggle than we’ve seen in previous Spiderman movies, less teenage angst. But digesting it after watching, that’s a little unfair too. If you demand satisfaction in your superhero schlock, and you're already a fan of the Marvel movies, you probably won’t be disappointed in terms of emotional fulfilment, resolution, and whatever else.