A List of My Ailments

I suffer from a number of ailments.

I call this ailment

WATCHED EPISODE SYNDROME

A TV show might have been running for three or four or even ten seasons, but this is generally what happens to me: 


I flick onto the tv show, and I see at the bottom of the screen what show it is, and I think "Oooh, I must watch another episode of this" because I've only watched one episode two years earlier and it looked good.

But then it turns out that this show is a repeat, and IT'S THE DAMN EXACT SAME DAMN EPISODE I HAVE ALREADY SEEN! GOD!!! DAMN IT!!!

My other ailments include:

Sore (Itchy) Writing Finger
TV Remote Confusion
Magical Lopsided Butt-Wiping Tendencies
Small Poop Production (or Rabbit Faeces Disorder)
Anti-French Bias 

Legitimate Hand-Eye Coordinative Crapness
A Fierce Intolerance of Conservative American opinion 
Guitar-String Tone Deafness
Sixpack Prevention Candy Eating Syndrome
Hispanophonic Incomprehension (or "Ack-ack-ack Phobia")