Crap Jokes Saturday

Now three jokes for Crap Jokes Saturday!
 

What do you call a bean grown in the hydroponics garden off a molecular gastronomist's kitchen, that's been genetically enhanced to taste like cheese?
An Elemental Emmental Lentil.

*

A dog walks into a bar. The barman says:

Heya fella. Where's your owner? Huh? Where's your owner? Show me that collar there! That's a good fella. C'mere to me!

The dog was ultimately reunited with his owner, because he'd been responsibly micro-chipped. That's no joke! That's serious!

*

"Is it illegal to spit, officer?" a drunk man asked an
Irish policeman.
"Well," the policeman said, contemplating the question. "It depends on what you're spitting at."

~This joke is based on a true story