A List of Don'ts on the Social Meeeja for your Business

Here is a list of Social Media Don'ts for your business!

Link your Twitter and Facebook feeds so that posts and tweets go out on both platforms. Don't do this because
Posts and Tweets are different beasts
~My Gran

You think you're saving time? WRONG! Facebook fans and Twitter followers have different expectations of each platform.

Facebook fans expect the following:


-two hour interviews with deceased philosopher Jack Derridoo, occult separatist hermeneut phonhmonologist Earwig Eggnog, deceased Bush apologist and wheelchair astrologer Sir Kisstopher Hawtchings, the late Viking crime novelist Herring Mackerel, the dead scientolofficer-general Mr Carl Sagan, and the fictional World War 3 starter Khan Noonien Singh, and a panel discussion with four of the two of them afterwards - with the transcripts provided beneath.

-vacation snaps of their friends in bikinis

Twitter followers expect the following - of you - to entail the following:

- Bugginess

- An inability for the platform to cope with any browser for sustained periods

-15 second twerking videos from strangers

-renderings of livestock skulls alongside the question: Is my vagina too big?


Ask: Who is making all the money on the social media and can I have some?
Wrong again. Look at the rhythm of the posts from those you believe are making money off the platform. Is it a solid rhythm? Look at it again - then ask yourself:
"Shouldn't I be listening to a rhythm?"
Then ask yourself: "Should I be making any money at all?"

Anyway, that's it for now! Stop wasting your time, and make sure you return soon to waste more time.