I told a guy in the pub this evening that I wasn't into the rugby coz it's not as egalitarian as the football. He went straight out to his car and returned with a cricket bat and hit me over the head.
While I was trying to get up, he went and got a baseball bat and knocked me down again.
Then he asked me which bat I found more "egalitarian" on my head.
I had to admit, he used the flat side of the cricket bat so it was a little less brutal than the baseball bat. He said he had only been out for a few pints, and that he hadn't intended to go clubbing on a Sunday night.