New Bond to be a toddler: Report

Lettuce

Electronic letters to a number of potential investors containing the crispy-fresh idea of having a toddler 007 found their way to a
young gossip, Ms Angela Daly, 22, mistress of an exiled Irish banker living on the Cape Cod coastline.

Reboot

Re-booting the franchise with a toddler clearly means that Bond's famed Walther will be replaced with a pacifier, and his Aston Martin db9 supplanted by an ApeX 3 Jogging Stroller.

Aggressive baby formula marketing

Thanks to a sponsorship deal with NestlĂ©'s SMA baby formula brands, the child will continue to enjoy his Vodka Martinis; negotiations with NestlĂ© failed due to disagreements over how the chocolate and cereal blue chip continues to aggressively market its baby formula over more beneficial breast-milk in the developing world, while in the same regions, the priests prevent use of penetrative penile prophylactics between couples. 


Note that these are territories from where the very same toddler Jamie Bond would be very unlikely to emerge during the audition process due to poor English skills and / or racial discrimination and / or unnecessary bottle feedings when breast is best and / or too many brothers and sisters to support because of the pope saying 'Have big families', again limiting success from children of the Poor South.

The new Bond would be "between two and five years", claims the gossip, and "issued for a specified period", as she explains in emailed details gleaned from the production company.

It is hoped that the Bond will mature, resulting in profits for some investors - with the potential for further options.

The new three-to-five year Bond would hope to yield profits after the first three years of maturity, the investment letter claims. Those who want to retain the new Bond for longer would potentially find the deal even more lucrative.