A Ghastly Festive Tale...


Santa’s Last Stand (Part One)

I scored me second goal at football practice one evenin’ when I looked in the sky on the other side of the goal and there was Santy’s sledge, trailin’ sparks of magic behind it. It flashed by very quick, an’ I’s the only one who seen it before it vanished. I couldn’t see Santy hisself, or his reindeers, it was too far away. But the coach says it was Santy. I says why is it Santy when it’s not Christmas yet? He says Santy has to collect the toys hisself from all over the world before Christmas. There are some toys like the normal toys we have in Ireland that the elves make but there are other toys made from goat-hair and that, that he has to get for the other kids. That’s what the coach says. So he collects the toys for the kids in Mongo Bongo but he makes the others. But that wasn’t the last I seen of Santy. After I scored me second goal we finished up. I’m the best striker on the team and nearly the best goalie. But when the real match comes, sometimes I don’t play as good. There are too many people lookin’ at me, makin’ me nervy. In the real match when the ball comes I kick it away straight up the field instead of takin’ it up a bit meself or whatever. That’s why I’m not a striker when we play the real matches. I don’t want the onus. That’s what me Da used to say. I don’t want the onus on me of messin’ it up. I know it’s people lookin’ at me coz I’m the same with me video games. I’m really good at Premier League Soccer and Blood Lust when I’m on me own but when there’s someone lookin’ at me I don’t do as good. I wanted Blood Lust 2 for Christmas. That game is ace. The animation is rapid. Me mate Darren has it. It’s got Dr Leonardo Pollack and Aurora Silvas in it just like Blood Lust 1, but this time you can play Hitler in World War 2 and Professor Moriarty when you’re in the nineteenth century and Vlad the Impaler when you’re in the Middle Ages. They can all help you. But you can’t travel with the villains. And you can call more weapons.
And all the people have their own skills. So it’s much better than Blood Lust 1. Darren traded in Blood Lust 1 and Premier League Soccer for Blood Lust 2. There’s a bit in Blood Lust 2 in the labyrinth where you have to slay the ogre Aijus Mite-Eetyoo. The next level is the Middle Ages but there’s cheats to get you straight to World War 2. If you use the battleaxe that you get from the dwarf when you’re slayin’ Aijus Mite-Eetyoo and you hit him just the right way then you go straight to World War 2 and you get all the weapons. The axe is a fancy axe. It’s not like the axe we have.

Read Santa's Last Stand, Part Two here.