Staring at computer screens causes hemorrhoids: Study


Scientists have recently revealed that sitting for long hours watching a computer screen can result in the condition known as heaemoeiarrheaioids in the UK, and "piles" according to US spelling and pronunciation conventions.

Researchers speculate that such lumpal rectal lumpal structures are believed to be the result of viewing pixellated screens for longer than is healthy every day over the course of a long period.

"The pixels somehow go through the eyes and flush down the system before they irritate the bowels on the molecular level," claimed buttocks expert Janet Smith - known as an "analyst".

Numerous cases of the condition have been discovered in clerical workers, who sit for hours in a sedentary position, watching their computer screens.

"Watching the screens definitely changes the structure of the bum," insisted Smith (34). "Most of those who came forward were sitting in front of a computer for long hours. We're just trying to figure out how they are affected exactly - but we think it's something to do with the condition 'dry eye', which is also common among computer users."
Eyes of those who use computers for long hours can suffer a shortage of moisture compared to the eyes of people who don't look at computers. However, these non-computer users often suffer from other eye related conditions, such as glaucoma, cataracts, drone strikes and malnutrition.

Meanwhile, the scientific community tries to resolve the exact cause of the hemorrhoids. What has Janet got to say, to round off the article nicely? 

"We are doing a lot of scratching."