The Worst 5 Cable Jokes1. You know on cable tv channels, they have Paper View? Well, I want my money back! It's nothing like Print Preview in Microsoft Word, which is what I thought it was, and they charge a high premium for it.
2. Why did the cable cross the road? To connect the house to the internet!
3. I got a cable yesterday from my sister* in Milwaukee. It said:
"Stuck at post office with no wifi access. Hope you don't mind telegram. Could I have your credit card details to buy phone credit?"
I knew she wasn't in Milwaukee. She's never been to Milwaukee. I am Irish! But she was busy heading up a six-month long cable-laying project in the Pacific. It was the very reason for our divorce! The cable obviously came from one of those identity-thieving Wisconsin scammers! Needless to say, I ignored that particular cable!
*My sister is also my ex-wife.
4. Sometimes, strumming your guitar cables gets a nice sound. But one time I strummed the G-string, and the feedback was very loud. It wasn't my guitar G-string. It was my partner's g-string. Boy was she mad that day at church!
5. The cables of a bridge in Alaska snapped. All the people on the bridge fell into the water, where all 96 people froze to death in the icy waters. But don't worry - they weren't really frozen - it was only supposin'!
And the runner up:
6. Wedding stuff is more expensive than regular stuff. Wedding napkins are five times more expensive than regular napkins. That's why you should visit a few shops for your wedding cables, to get the very best price when you're marrying your sister. It led to our first fight, and now we're divorced!