Ireland's Minister for Education and Skills Ruairi Quinn forced hundreds of sweat shops in Laos, Bangladesh, Vietnam and Cambodia to increase their output of XXXL grey v-necked sweaters and XXXL wine v-necked sweaters yesterday, in response to his announcement that parents ought to be polled about the possibility of a reduction in the costs of Ireland's school uniforms.
At a press conference, Minister Quinn insisted that "the cheque will get there", nodding convincingly. He holds a personal hope that the money will ultimately reach the laundry and recycling facility in Lockahore Province that he had recently seen a report about on Upworthy. The video - which nearly brought him to tears, and compelled him to watch a compilation of kitten rescue operation videos afterwards on the same site "for a bit of a break from the compassion fatigue" - showed how unmarried mothers are provided with employment and accommodation at the facility. The women are taken off the streets of the city of Bangahore - where they are found to be filthy dirty, filthy, dirty filthy women - and set to work stitching, sewing and ironing clothes. He left the press conference to head up a Dail committee which is researching possibilities by which each national school in Ireland could adopt a cat.