Villain captured without the help of vigilante heroes

The capture of the self-styled "Joker Czar" or "Dzhokhar Tsarnaev" during the week at a Boston house boat has once again highlighted the shortage of superheroes available - both for short term contract work, and in a more public capacity - to the US government and its people.

Christmas Day 2009 saw the festively fiery crossdressing Christmas Underwear Bomber apprehended by a member of the general public on a flight from Europe to Detroit. It is this security failure that led to a call for superheroes from the Republican right in Washington. That call has yet to be answered.

A rendering of what the Christmas Underwear Bomber might have looked like on the flight


Rampant online speculation suggests that the authorities are playing into the latest super-villain's hands. Sources close to the Joker Czar - said to have an unassuming and mild-mannered temperament - claim that it was his plan all along to be arrested. As yet, the only recourse available to the authorities is the fact that they are refusing to read him his rights before his interrogation begins.

In the meantime, he sits in custody alongside an ever growing group of supervillains, with no superheroes to stand up to them, should they attempt escape. The mastermind behind 9-11, "The Gorilla", has been caught planning prison breaks on two occasions. However, prison officers are convinced he was merely "testing the waters" for an attempt that they fear will be successful.


The Gorilla

Another supervillain, known in Europe as "The One-Eyed Jack" and in the United States as "Captain Hook" - with a different back-story in each culture - is also said to be satisfied planning his atrocities from a secure location, where he receives protective custody and three square meals.

Captain Hook the One-Eyed Jack

Authorities are now convinced that the lack of superheroes in the current climate of fear is a cause for serious concern.