The Best Night Clubs on the Planet

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Akademia Sokratos, Nikamemos Demos, Shakademos, Greece

So I hit up da club and it was cramp-city. Too many peeps ain't a good club make. Me grinding against a Greek lay-daa, then she dispear, coming back two minutes in wit some cool drinx from her purse and no payntees on. Me feelin her, she feelin me. But don't buy your 'freshmens here - turns out bottle aqua is three-fiddy euros. Not three dollah fiddy. We talkin three and a half g.

Uh nuh she dih'iiiiin. S'teecommy, styooopihhhh!!!

So she a panderin to me, and then we take it off da floor and into da jane. The ladies' is neat, and she wants it. Whatever she puts in that drink make me groggy plus it a diuretic. So I do a lil tinkle into the bowl and she there laughin with piss dribbling evywhere. But she don' like the 'sfix-y-ation I's doin to her throa' while I'm whizzin', an' she pass out. I put her onto the johnseat to sleepidaff. No dice or cigar from Rip Van Winklette, even tho' I try! Next, I quit the Lady Jane 'n' find a nice cool area with a nearby window slightly open an' I'm sprawled on the sofa, chillin'.

A Greek bro approach with his lollipop out, sistin time for payback from the ho I jus kilt. I ain' been with no ho but whateva she put my drink means no 'nhibishuns n I suckin on that guy's lolly in the corner till blastoff!
DJ on old skool buzz, with Grandmaster Flash and Jackson's posthumous Off da Hook album remix by Professor Green or Norman Cook or some shixxxx. Sick o' dis John Travolter. I ain' at a weddingggg. I quit da club, n da line out da door two block long. Dunno why dis club so poplar. I feel a hurl comin. Projectile vomit down the line, showerin a number of clubbaz with my bits n pieces. Then I run az they give chase, but I din realise my pants still loose, and they come down and I fall, trip-hoppin over my pants down round my ankles. That's all I member. Woke up nix day with headache, covered in sick and in jail, dress up like a nun in a habit an' fluffy hancuffz. Standing trial for murder but I'd still give this club a four out of five star review. The one star taken way for everything that happen that night, and the crowd, and the DJ.

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