Every year, thousands of moles are born into the world blind - and their eyesight gets little better from then on. Moles have eyes that are no bigger than the eye of a needle. They have such poor eyesight because they spend most of their lives underground - they can discern little more than light from darkness. Imagine living in that world, where you can only tell whether it's day or night. With no colour in your life to speak of.
Here at the Laser Eye Surgery for Moles Clinic (LESMC, pronounced "Lezumkeh"), we've been providing eye-sight restoration for the entire mole population of the world since 1743. However, our 1,500 sites around the world simply aren't enough to cope with the demand. Our mobile units were retired with the advent of laser surgery techniques - mole goggles and spectacles had become obsolete and we began to perform all of our surgeries inhouse.
But for just £2 a month, you could help to re-establish our mobile units once again. This time, we won't be catching any moles to put goggles on them. We realise now that that was a cruel practice in the history of our organization. And we also realise that stressing out a mole bringing him in for surgery is something we'd rather not have to do.
What we want instead is to be able to deliver laser eye surgery to the mole in his natural environment.
Mobile laser eye surgery units can be established to make this happen today.
We can deliver this surgery from a distance of about ten meters. That's the whole nine yards in old money - and change. They won't even know we're there - provided we're downwind of them. So why don't you give some change so that their vision will become crisp and clear? Your help might just give a nearby mole a fighting chance against an owl, a fox or - heaven forbid - even a bear who can't find any salmon.
Send your donations today, and give a mole close to you the eyes to see past their own head.