Tips to Eat Your Way Through Italy Part 2

Tips to Eat Your Way Through Italy Part II

Continuing with our series of tips about eating your way through Italy, we have

Tip Number Trays

Bring a tray with you into the restaurant.

Italians value initiative, so lugging your own fancy silver salver with you into your favourite local restaurant will mark you out as someone who looks like they're used to dining out! Simply hand your tray to the maitre d', and wave him away towards the kitchen dismissively, demanding spaghetittittittininini. He'll return with your tray full of the restaurant's finest dishes, as soon as the chef has rustled them up!

Tip Number Doze

The Italians have an anti pasta without any pasta. Can you believe that? It's all salads!

Will you be entertaining while you're in Italy? Perhaps you want to try out all the culinary tricks you've picked up?

If you're preparing salads in Italy, your guests will be delighted with a surprise or two! In order to give your salad a little extra bite, never be afraid to simply sprinkle a few chewing gum pellets in under the lettuce! The look of surprise on your houseguests' faces, as they pick at the curious crunchy pellet that's mixed with the lettuce in their mouth, is worth that "Extra" cost.

Tipo Uno

Finally, always remember to visit the Vatican, but beware of the "quattorrro chay-nnn-tho" fountains and baths in this wonderful medieval Papistry. Everything is all slippery due to the marble! Always wear rubber, non scuff soles. And ladies: Heels are a no-no!

(The last pope was forced to take an "early bath" himself, after spending years in physio therapy, trying to recover from breaking his arm after a slip while he was masturbating in the tub. That's right, folks: He broke his arm having a wank in the bath! Auf wiedersehen, Papatito! Bark! Bark!)