Locusts attack Madagascar

A swarm of locusts - the largest since the 1950s - has infested Madagascar. However, there has been a holdup over the country's application for assistance. The president of Madagascar, Andry Rajoelina, pictured, has been asked for identification to confirm his age - which he claims as 37 years - as he appeals to the international community to help deal with the crisis.

"Age corruption" is rife in the country, with many eleven and twelve year olds recently exposed as being too young to sit in the newly re-constituted government, having spent entire careers "playing hooley-booley" or "bunking off" from sneaker stitching school. The practice of corrupt children turning to politics in such an underhand way has led to a popular tongue twister in Madagascar, involving the stitching up of sneaky stitchers snitching. And, of course, mitching: Mitching that means a higher price for your Air Jordans at the check-out.