Latest Deals from Croutons


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You've seen the ads on the tv. Right? Right? Now share in the joy and get a superb half price discount on our two-hour baby bucket deal. The bucket is filled with liquid muscle relaxants to keep your little cherub calm while you go off shopping! Simply drop your child off at any one of our three countryside retreats, and head back into the city for your shopping or meeting of the friends!

Remember, you can use this voucher on any Tuesday you like - in any two hour time period between midday and three pm!

Photo courtesy Wyda Read.
Do you like looking at beautiful women? Do you like beautiful women looking at you? What about beautiful women not looking at you? If you like the idea of a beautiful woman not looking at you for half an hour, then avail of this amazing offer to have a beautiful woman not look at you for just half an hour!

With an amazing 52% discount for the half hour, you can even avail of a 62% reduction for a 15 minute session. If you don't like the sound of that, we'll even blast cool air into the face of our model from our fantastic air conditioners so that she'll look even fresher! There are beautiful women from all across the world on our books, and they all think very, very positive thoughts, bringing a sense of wellbeing and mindfulness into your life. So check out our site or just pop in!

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At a massive discount, why not avail of a delicious meal served directly onto the table? Our wonderful plateless dinners look absolutely terrific on a black surface. Pay just five percent for delicious strips of beef with lots of veg on top!

Photo courtesy of Blue moon in her eyes

Willing to spend just a little extra on that delicious plateless meal? Why not splurge on a lunch or dinner that is served on a white surface?

Remember - no plates, no fuss, and all the expense!

Do you like stunts? Are you a dare devil? Then why not avail of our AMAZING LEARN TO STUNT deal!

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For just 20.00, you will be trained in how to become a circus master of the skies, with trapeze technology. Before the hour is out, you will have learned how to somersault into the cockpit of a fighter jet. And for another incredible, bunker busting 450,000,000, you can take off in that jet AND KEEP IT AS A SOUVENIR!

After that, why not round out your day with a wonderful session at our clinic, where a beautiful woman won't look at you while thinking positively?
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