The best way to tackle constipation


The best way to overcome constipation is to get pulled over by the police. How you manage to do this is entirely your choice.
Photo courtesy of anotherview.

You may wave and point at the policeman as he comes up behind you in his squad car. This may give the police officer the false impression that you are under the influence of alcohol or some other substance. Once the police officer has turned on his lights, you should continue to drive at least fifty metres before pulling over. Hopefully, this will heighten the officer’s stress levels to a point where he feels you are being uncooperative. You can continue to be unaccommodating as you show him your licence. Don’t worry, take your time. Being uncooperative leads to a slightly unsettling feeling and it may result in a ticket or a citation of some kind. If you find that you are not quite as anxious as you should be, try being a little bit more disrespectful to the police officer. He will resent you, but luckily, both you and he will leave the scene feeling nicely on edge. Once you’ve returned home, you will find – miracle upon miracles – that you can quite easily clear the bowels.