Mixers by Jennifer Byars: 1 of 5 Novels together for 99cents

The need for "clean blood" and talk of being the "dominant race" would have been typical of high society conversation in parts of pre-war Europe.
But in 1939, while Hitler breaks promises about his Lebensraum requirements, across the English Channel, Nicolas and Marcus hold a discussion on similar themes for unexpected purposes. 

Two high-ranking vampires with a centuries-old bromance, Nicolas is arguing against the schemes of Marcus in order to avert unnecessary conflict with the humans they rely on to exist. While age seems to have brought a level of wisdom to Nicolas's thinking, Marcus's capacity for empathy has dwindled over time.

The discussion also echoes our preoccupation of "playing God" in the scientific realm, with Marcus insisting that he will go ahead with a project that involves experimentation on and turning humans into a class of slaves to serve the vampiric race. The moral discussion ends in an impasse. Will it come to blows? The work presents some thrilling background philosophy for the reader in its opening pages.

Jennifer Byars' novel Mixers is available at Amazon and is one of five that will be in a box set for a limited time for just 99 cents. The other books include another vampire novel, Claudette Melanson's Rising Tide, PJ Webb's ghost story Lora Lee, and Lynn Lamb's semi-historical, Renaissance-era-automaton-and-modern-day-pandemic-themed Mechaniclism.

Santa's Alarmingly High Cholesterol

12:58 AM EST, December 2, 2016

            Rumors that Santa Claus has been suffering ill health in recent years were confirmed by the man himself Friday as he prepares to journey round the world later this month.
            “Yes, I’m exhausted all the time now,” he told a press conference at an undisclosed location in the Arctic Circle. “I’ve been feeling run down for the last few years. I’m more susceptible to chest infections now. I went to see a number of specialists, but none of them could figure the problem out.”

Santa makes a second run to some regions on the eve of his own feast day, January 5, and he claims that it is this subsequent trip that is “the real killer”.
            “You know, I’m wiped after Christmas Eve. But tradition dictates that some kids don’t get their gifts till early January. I just don’t have enough recovery time between the two runs. My body can’t sustain it.”
            Asked why his strength has deteriorated now, when he’s been doing the job with little complaint for the last sixteen hundred years, Santa gave an honest appraisal of modern history.
“It’s down to the spread of Western European traditions to all four corners of the globe. I can’t be everywhere at once, but the last five hundred years have been tough, and that’s down to colonization. I didn’t say anything at the time because I thought it would come off as sanctimonious. But there are more children now than ever before, regardless of what anyone says about an ageing population. And the toys are so diverse. I can’t be expected to source yak hair and goat gut for a Nepalese kid’s handmade toy and then replicate something that Hasbro mass produces in my small workshop. And the costs of paying the elves are higher now than ever. Corporate social responsibility is something that I take very seriously.”
Santa and LeAnn Rimes, 2005

Santa’s eyes then welled up, and as the press conference microphones picked up a sniffle, he turned to Mrs Claus (first name Marital), seated alongside him. She appeared to whisper a few words of encouragement before he nodded and cleared his throat to address the reporters. 
           “You know, this vocation is the most rewarding profession any man could ask for. But it’s very repetitive. It can wear away at you, year on year. I didn’t think much of myself a few years back. I got disheartened with the secularisation of society, the commercialism. I felt in part responsible. Unfortunately, my self-disgust led me down a destructive path. I was unfaithful to my wife on a number of occasions. I engaged with a multitude of women under their Christmas trees while cuckolded husbands slept soundly in their beds. And because I didn’t like myself, I wasn’t very careful.”
            The reporters’ reaction at the press conference expressed surprise at his candour.
            “I’m telling you this now because I’m afraid that the low immunity I’ve been suffering might be down to my infidelities,” Santa admitted. “I fear that I may have contracted a sexually transmitted disease. And I think that this is the best forum through which I can warn my conquests about the possibility of infection.”
            He urged any of the hundreds of thousands of women who have slept with Santa during the 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013 holiday seasons to get tested immediately.
            “They may believe that they had dreamed it, but I can now confirm that they had an act of love with Santa. Although they were all willing, it was an abuse of my reputation rather than my magical powers. It’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, possibly alongside a sexually transmitted infection.”
            The question was raised as to why Santa himself hasn’t been tested.
            “They’ve run blood tests, but unfortunately my cholesterol was too high to get accurate readings. I was told there were too many lipids in my bloodstream to verify my condition. But I have this reputation as a jolly fat figure to maintain, so I can’t lose weight in good conscience. I’m eating well now, lots of protein, reducing my fat intake, and I hope to keep my rotund shape. And I promise that as soon as I get tested again, I’ll publicise the results to the world.”
            Santa and his wife departed the conference to warm and spontaneous applause from the reporters present. Evidently touched, he was seen rubbing his eyes with his handkerchief as he walked out the door.

Christmas Horror Box Set Lynn Lamb's Mechaniclism

As part of a Christmas Horror Boxed Set, Lynn Lamb's Mechaniclism is part of a collection of five novels by five authors, available for 99 cents for a limited time.

Lamb's Mechaniclism opens with the birth of one of its characters, and describes the poor lot she has received in life. With a severe immune deficiency, Ireland Barton's life will be spent in a bubble of dustless, filtered air to prevent microbial infection and probable death. Her over-protective loving father ensures her sheltered existence. She has a hazmat suit but she spends the vast majority of her life in her room, studying, reading books and learning about the outside world via the Internet. She attains a degree via distance learning, and a PhD at twenty-six. Her scientific background gives her the skills to take on the challenge of a pandemic when it strikes - an illness that appears to wipe out the vast majority of humanity in a number of weeks. (And we can only assume the worst as international communications break down.)

Four centuries earlier, clockmaker Frederick Jori finds a patron in Lord August Godwine, who - it transpires - is a lunatic, drunk on feudal power. When Jori refuses to build the automatons Godwine demands, convinced that to create such a clockwork Golem would usurp God's role in humanity, the lord imprisons him until he either fulfils his bizarre commission or dies in the attempt. Over his years of imprisonment, Jori experiments and researches movement and mechanics to master his craft in order to create a functioning model of man.

Part of this book's beauty is the mirroring of the two lives: both Ireland and Jori are prisoners of sorts, both face seemingly impossible challenges in research and study.

In similar novels, we could dismiss the henchmen and servants who torture, watch over or look after Jori - here, their roles are more prominent, each of them seeming to have his own role in a manner similar to Batman's cast of villains. It's a shame we don't see more of them. In the present, meanwhile, Ireland and the team she brings together in her near-apocalypse bicker and argue with each other with as much vehemence.

Another inventive touch is Lamb's placing of a heroine front-and-center whose life could be snuffed out by a sneeze from her own father. That Ireland is the one who must find a cure or vaccine for the deadly plague is a delicious irony.
This story is one of five novels - from five authors - available for less than 20 cents each for a limited time, brought together in a 99c boxed set. Preorder this set in the coming days. Keep an eye out for further deets!

Lynn Lamb's author page on Amazon can be viewed here!

Claudette Melanson's Rising Tide in Christmas Boxed Set of Wonderful Horror

Rising Tide by Claudette Melanson opens with the introduction of a teen, Maura - known as Mink to her mother, who wants them to emigrate to Vancouver from Pennsylvania - with skin so pale that sunlight makes her feel unwell (hence at least one reason for the big move north). Her neighbor and frenemy Katie is on the cheerleader squad; Katie's twin brother Trent is on the football team.

Katie's recent attentions towards Maura are odd, her agenda questionable. Indeed, the brilliance of these opening pages begs us to question EVERYONE's motives, including Maura's mother Caelyn, and her rationale for the move to Canada.

This vampire tale is one of five novels - from five authors - available for less than 20 cents each for a limited time, brought together in a 99c boxed set. You'll be able to preorder this set in the coming days. Keep an eye out for further deets!

Claudette Melanson's Amazon author page is here!

Lora Lee by PJ Webb part of Christmas Boxed Set of Wonderful Horror

PJ Webb's Lora Lee opens with an aspiring author - the eponymous teenager living in South Carolina in 1922 - seeking the approval of the local elderly newspaper editor. Her best friend, Amanda, would
probably be diagnosed bi-polar today, is often bed-ridden with depression.

Lora Lee is herself plagued by a recurring dream. Her brother, Riley - a handsome chap two years her senior - initiates a clandestine affair with Amanda.

With dashes of Gothic - both Southern and Victorian - Webb lays out the opening pages of a superb yarn involving blazing homesteads, orphanages, murders and suicides in the opening chapters.

This ghost story is one of five novels - from five authors - available for less than 20 cents each for a limited time, brought together in a 99c boxed set. You will be able to preorder this set in the coming days. Keep an eye out for further deets!

PJ Webb's author page on Amazon can be viewed here!

Let the hate end...A rant

Letter To those who voted for Trump:

People are PRAYING that Trump will be a good president.
There are statements floating around like this too:

"Name-calling instead of respectful debate is not right. It's wrong to harm other people, regardless of how you personally feel."

When people have accused Obama for eight years of treason, or of being Satan, or being disgusting, or of being a liar, or of being like Hitler, what do his opponents who NOW WANT TO RESPECTFULLY DEBATE, actually hear?

Are these fair descriptors of the man? Comparisons to HITLER?

You think you can stand alongside people who draw these disgusting comparisons for eight years,
and white supremacists, after voting in a racist xenophobe, and now the Left is going to be REASONABLE while YOUR post-Patriot-Act civil and data protection rights - and whatever else - continue to be dismantled?

Your own freedoms will be undermined by the reactionary cabal you voted in, which is regarded by many as the most right-wingnut mainstream party in the Western hemisphere.

You understand that in 1933, the Jewish communities of Europe were seen as dangerous - the Jews were the suicide bombers of the times. The terrorists. And we know what happened then.

So you're COOL with endorsing a guy who says the same about Muslims today - because you're scared of WHAT exactly?  You're only scared because of the fear-whipping scumbags, the idiots, the ones who talk up the hate, the fascists: The conservatives YOU vote for.

And remember, these are the same "small government" conservatives who came in with Bush and - after BJ Clinton left the White House with an increased number of public servants, relative to his predecessors - INCREASED THE CIVIL SERVICE FURTHER.

And when Bush required consensus to go into Iraq or to push through the Patriot Act (with his constant preying on fear and terror), these progressives, these Democrats, were willing to listen.

Bush tortured prisoners - some of them entirely innocent and mistakenly snatched. Bush incarcerated innocents at Guantanamo too - a prison Obama wanted to shut down because its name is synonymous with everything wrong in the world.

And yet Trump wants to bring back torture. Right? He's been on the record saying it's a good idea.

I AM NOT SAYING TRUMP IS BUSH. I am only saying he wants to bring back torture.

Sticking with conservative policy, Bush ruined the world economy for a few years with an ideologically-based refusal to bail out a bank. Is there more nuance than that?

Yet there's an amazing amount of nuance when Obama bails out the auto-industry. It's suddenly the TAXPAYERS who bail it out, not the president? So what was Bush doing? Letting nature take its course?
Hillary's with the banks, though, right? Maybe she wouldn't be dumb enough to let a big one fail.

When Obama tries to build consensus, his opponents refuse to listen, refuse to come to the table, and then they turn their backs. Obama was told very early in his presidency "You lie!" by a man not fit to lick the president's boots clean.

Bush sent Colin Powell to the United Nations with intelligence FULL of lies seeking a mandate to go into Iraq. MILLIONS HAVE DIED as a result of THAT lie. Some of them American.

The neoconservatives were not expecting the sectarianism and infighting in Iraq AFTER THEY DISMANTLED THE IRAQI ARMY, after they said "We don't do nation-building", after they toppled a horrible dictator (WHO as we've seen HAD! NO! WEAPONS!).

The neoconservatives had been PLANNING an Arab Spring LONG BEFORE 9-11 - look up the Project for the New American Century. Just look it up! The neocons were entirely agenda-driven in their foreign adventure since the mid-90s.

It's a DISASTER that both Hillary and Obama have been dealing with, perhaps inadvertently, perhaps intentionally, for some time now, pursuing this same neoconservative agenda.

The horrible Left: Gnome Trotsky
Benghazi in 2012 would likely NEVER have happened if Commander Cuckoo Bananas hadn't stolen his first election in 2000, and got a second term on the back of a terror attack.
Barney Saunders


"Terror! Terror! Terror!" was his excuse. Sh*tting from his mouth like a junior senator from Wisconsin.

Bush would never have had the opportunity to lie, and to torture, and abuse prisoners, and set new disgusting, satanically-low standards for international boorishness and arrogance which the Chinese and Russians and everyone else have been watching. We're all gonna get hammered because YOU'RE A DUMB ASS.


Cheney's Halliburton profited MASSIVELY from these wars while US Marines were killed.

These issues are MASSIVE compared to losing a few guns in Mexico (for which people wanted Obama impeached), or for showing indecision over Syria. There is NO COMPARISON.

As for being friendly with Saudis - wasn't Bush friendly with the bin Ladins?


So Hillary was beholden to the Saudis and Qataris and the banks and maintaining the status quo? What do you do? You vote for a racist torturer keen to turn the clock back to pre-bellum America? ARE YOU KIDDING?

Why you're wrong to vote the way you did 

Trump is an advocate for war crimes - torture - and most probably he's for economic disaster.

These things are far WORSE than ANYTHING Clinton has done or would do.

This includes taking speaking fees, or making dodgy property deals back in the day, or (one could even argue) setting out to destroy women who had affairs with her husband because they want to tell the truth.

Nobody on Hillary's team let a spanner drop into the world economy.
Nobody got killed fighting a war that they started.
Nobody even got delayed by traffic in Jersey.

The Right's behavior is consistently WORSE because thousands of US troops are committed to its crap TO THIS DAY, and soldiers' families have suffered loss, and veterans are maimed, or scarred in other ways.

It's worse because Obama inherited a cluster**** which he has been pissing out for eight years.
BJ and Jimmy and George Sr (when he's out) are still expressing their views and offering support to acting presidents.
Dubya is PAINTING.
You want to return to that cluster****?


If you supported Trump, you are an advocate for racism. It's very clear to those who DID NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP that those WHO DID VOTE FOR HIM:

  • Don't WANT to reduce the number of school, workplace, movie theater and army base shootings.
  • Don't WANT to allow people to practise the religion they choose.
  • DON'T WANT women to have a say over their own bodies, their own futures, and their lives.
  • DON'T WANT your elected representatives to COLLABORATE and COOPERATE with their opponents in government.
  • Don't WANT to resolve the issues highlighted by Black Lives Matter, or by the self-surveilling and caught-on-video police shootings.
  • Don't want people to live their lives as they choose with the people they love.
If any one of these things is important to you for the right reasons, you chose the wrong candidate. Is that fair?

There is no comparison between a center-right progressive whose husband executed a man when he was a governor so as to appear tough on crime in order to become president in the early 90s, and anyone to the right of that politically.

When Trump refused to allow people of color to rent his apartments, was that not WRONG? People like this brain serjun here who should be impeached for practicing medicine! Trump was fined for preventing POCs from living in his buildings, for the HATE. You want to end the hate?


Isn't she rightwing enough for you? Can she use the word Islamo-fascism in a sentence? She's already said she has an indoor voice and an outdoor voice! She has the wherewithal to use BOTH! But you want your lies told straight in your face?


Because RATIONAL PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO exacerbate horrific problems of discrimination. Okay?


You voters want him in charge of making court appointments? Prejuduced appointments of racist StupidWhiteMen? You want to give him a gun which he'll flash around like Billy the Kid with a combover?

NO. That is wrong. To give a child an assault rifle is just wrong.

And Clinton's emails?

How about Bush's emails? And he had the authority and the temerity to place electronic communications (the ones he didn't delete) outside of Freedom of Information requests, and he increased the statute of limitations when it came to the release of plenty of correspondence too.

Trump is an incompetent and racist businessman with a questionable attention span, who relied on the generous US bankruptcy laws to bail himself out of trouble on a number of occasions.

You know this, right? You voted for a guy who won't be watched by Bernie and Obama, but by a cabal of egregious lunatics.

While Secretary Clinton was out and about overseas, the guy's been on a reality show.
Do you actually believe that he is THAT successful in business, that the couple of million he makes a year on The Apprentice isn't so insignificant as to be WASTING his TIME? If he was THAT GOOD in business, he wouldn't HAVE THE TIME for reality tv and if he was that strong a leader, he wouldn't have the EGO TO REQUIRE his primetime BullShythe tv show, and to diss Martha Stewart and to demand apologies from everyone. HE WOULDN'T HAVE THE TIME.

He comes from a world of evictions, and court-ordered property seizures, and refusals to pay contractors, and disastrous finances, and sourcing cheap resources overseas.

So everyone lets build a bridge and end the hate. Yay!